You might be a police spouse if...

I have been wanting  to make a blog about this forever, but have just never found the time.  I opened a coffee shop a week ago and I realized that the mornings (4am-6am) are pretty slow, so I finally am going to sit down and write these out!

I have come up with some of these on my own, but I owe my sisters behind the badge a lot of the credit! I am sharing these because I feel like we spouses don't get nearly the credit that we are due.  These are obviously funny to us, but maybe we can speak to some outsiders about why we are the way we are.  Plus, this is just plain fun.

You might be a police spouse if...

1.  You have 10 subpoenas on your kitchen counter
2.  You see a car making a traffic violation and you want to pull them over because you now know the infractions by heart--after all, you helped your spouse learn them (Melissa A.)
3.  When hearing velcro in the middle of the night makes you happy because you know your LEO is home (Anna W)
4.  Your kids play shoplifter and police officer (Sarah S)
5.  When everyone and their mother call to ask, "Do you know why there's police SUVs zooming past us on the freeway?" --it's always an hour from where his jurisdiction is too! (Lory S)
6.  When you find bullets, handcuff keys, plastic gloves, or other paraphernalia in the washing machine
7.  You know full and well what "cop mode" means--and you avoid him during those times (Krystal A)
8. When your husband texts in 10-codes rather than full sentences-- 10-4 (Mandy M)
9.  You know all your husbands coworkers by their last name--to be honest you don't know half of their first names--to be more honest, you only know one of their first names
10.  You celebrate Christmas three days before Christmas and convince the kids that Santa makes special trips to police houses because dad is working a double again--to be honest, this is true for every holiday (Melissa A)
11. Your mom asks how your husband's night was last night and you respond, "Great! He got a DUI!"--for the record, he was giving the DUI not receiving; mom was shocked for a few seconds.
12.  You always have to sit facing the wall at restaurants, so that your spouse can face the windows/front door--at this point, you even do it when you are alone or with friends because you are so used to it--the real fun is when you go out to dinner with another LE family and there's that awkward moment where the guys have an alpha moment (I'm thinking of my dogs here)
13.  When you're in Walmart and your LEO walks away with "that look" you should keep walking like you've never met him before in your life
14.  You meet someone really nice and you're super excited to get to know them better, so you add them on Facebook...only to find their first post says, "F the police"--annnnnd delete.
15.  Speaking of Walmart ^ You never send your LEO there alone because he eventually comes home two hours later with a huge grin on his face. You don't even have to ask anymore to know that he found someone who had a warrant and he called them in and got them arrested.
16. You've gotten a call to bring him his (insert gear item here) because he only got 2 hours of sleep and got called out to assist with something.  His memory hardly functions when he has enough sleep, let alone no sleep.
17.  Your response to, "what does your husband do?" is either one of two things..."He's a cop!" or, "He works for the city/county/state"
18.  You know every pressure point and many arrest techniques because they have inevitably been tried on you at some point
19.  When you have a driveway full of cruisers and neighbors DON'T worry--well maybe the new neighbors are worried, but they finally catch on (Christina W)
20. When your spouse speeds to get next to an on-duty cruiser so he can wave at his friend--all while you freak out and think you're going to jail
21.  You always have to answer the question, "Can you tell I'm wearing a gun?"
22.  Your new favorite restaurant is Subway...or any other restaurant that makes the food in front of you.
23. Whenever someone spells your name wrong, you correct them by saying, "oh, I'm sorry it's Brie- Boy Robert Ida Edward"
24.  Every outlet in your house is taken due to radios, cell phones, beepers, flashlights, etc.
25. Your spouse says, "disregard" on the phone (JoDee D)
26. You've tripped over a duty belt at least once.
27.  You have a wonderful group of sisters, most of whom you've never met, but you know they'd do anything for you if you needed it! <3

The House That Built Me

I never imagined that I'd write a post of this nature, but a lot has been on my mind lately and it just feels right to get it out of me.  Kasey finds it strange that I grew up in the same house from the age of four until I moved out and got an apartment at the age of 18.  Apparently not many kids grew up in the same house all of their childhood years- but I certainly did.

When I was 15 my parents got a divorce.   At first my mom lived at the house with us and my dad moved out, but because of money and divorce crap and who knows what my dad eventually got the house and my mom bought a new house.  At first I tried going back and forth, but it was hard and I felt like I was packing up my life every single weekend.  I finally decided to live at my dad's a.k.a. the house that I spent my whole life at.

Well life went on and since moving out I have lived in three different houses- two apartments and now Kasey and I own a house.  My dad was living in this house pretty much by himself- my brother is a teenager, so of course he's only home to sleep.  My dad was tired of taking care of the house by himself, and I totally understood why he would want to sell.  I wasn't emotional about it at all, until I got here today to stay for a few days and it dawned on me that this is the last time I will be in this house.

If you would have asked me how I would have handled this a couple of years ago, I would have been an emotional mess.  The- throw yourself on the wall, cry your eyes out, mess. But, I have been surprisingly fine.  I walked up the stairs the same way I used to do when I was a kid.  I sat by the fireplace just like I always used to. Except, this time I am taking it all in.  I am looking at the fine details- the way the house smells, what route I take on the stairs, what couch I always choose, etc.  It means so much to me as an adult to see everything and to realize this is it- I'm never coming back here again.

I admit, I'm shedding a tear writing all of this.  It is hard.  This is the house that I had all my birthday parties at.  I rode my horses in the field. I broke my arm wrestling with my brother in the living room.  I cried. I laughed. I lived.  This was where it all happened.  I will really miss this place.

I also am in awe.  My friends used to tell me when I was little that I had a nice house.  I'm not saying this to boast, I'm saying it because I have a really good point that I'm going to bring up- just wait! Being back in the house after a couple of years of being gone, I'm realizing just how nice I had it.  Kasey and I are really blessed to have the house that we do.  We got a great deal on it and I'm really proud of our nest.  But being here, wow. I feel so defeated. Maybe that isn't quite the word I'm looking for, but it's 2:30am and I can't think.

So about that point- here it is. I want to have this someday! I want to be able to provide this kind of lifestyle for my future kids.  This house isn't anything spectacular, but it is nice.  It feels gimungo (yeah, just sound it out, it will make sense) compared to our little house.  Seeing this house motivates me to work hard and to save my money as best as I can so that someday my kids can grow up in a house like this.

I close this chapter of my life with a little sadness, but also with great happiness.  I'm happy that I was given the opportunity to live here.  I'm happy that this is where I've called "home" for the past 17 years of my life.  And I'm happy that I get a chance to actually say good bye.  This week will be fun to study this house with adult eyes and an open mind.  I don't want to forget anything about my home.

Lastly, I pray for the family who purchased the house.  I pray for many great memories to be formed at this house for them like they were for me.  I hope there are more birthday parties, less broken arms, and tons of laughter!

"That must be nice!"

Maybe it's just me, but this saying drives me absolutely nuts! I have been the receiving end of this saying before and I have also been the one who thinks it. But, I have recently learned how to change this view and I think that others could use a reminder as well.

Kasey and I both work pretty much full time, him definitely full time and me the pretty much. We are both crazy busy and always worn out. I know we aren't the only ones. The other night, I was closing at my work and I thought to myself, "I want to go get away for just two days!" I had recently seen on Facebook how several of my friends were enjoying the last bit of summer vacation at the beach, concerts, on a planned trip, and even on random road trips. I must admit, I wanted that too! I called Kasey and I said, "We both have a day off tomorrow and you don't work until 10pm on Thursday, let's go to the cabin and spend some time together!" I guess I should now admit that I am the spontaneous- do life as it comes one- and Kasey is definitely the let's plan this out three months in advance one. After a long back and forth conversation, he reminded me that it was 11pm at night and the cabin is 3 hours away. He also reminded me that we have two dogs and we were on a budget at the time. So, we didn't go. 

I was kind of crabby about the whole situation because I wanted to be like all my friends, living my life to the fullest during the last part of summer! But then it hit me....

At 22 and 20, we have a home. Not renting- a literal home. We have furnished this home with furniture and decorations. Now, maybe you're reading this and thinking, "Well I'm 26 and I can't afford a house, must be nice!" But instead, train your mind to see this differently. Maybe you don't have a house, but maybe you only work part time and you love your nights and weekends and free time to spend doing whatever you want! Maybe you love cars and you have spent your extra money on restoring old cars and you have several cars that no one else has. Or maybe, you love clothes and you have a closet fit for a queen! Whatever it is, remember that your choices have landed you there. 

Kasey and I couldn't pack up and leave that night because we have made choices that have made spontaneous road trips not possible at the moment. We make a sacrifice so that we can have other things in life that we want. We are "living like no one else now, so we can live like no one else later." Can you guess who said it? Ding, ding, ding the famous Dave Ramsey! I told you I was a huge fan! 

So remember this, if you sit and wallow in the fact that your car isn't the latest and greatest, you will spend far too much time wallowing and far too less time being grateful for what you do have. Also remember that you have made a choice to have what you have and it is no one else's fault that you don't have something. The next time you find yourself saying or thinking "that must be nice", think about why that person has what they do. Maybe they are in debt $50,000 because of that fancy new car and you are debt free! Just a thought. 

Setting Goals

You may have noticed that I tend to like Dave Ramsey, and the truth is that I do.  I like what he stands for.  I also like that he takes something he is good at and uses it for the good of God and for the good of God's followers.  Dave uses his life's testimony to help others who are struggling financially and he shares what he has learned to inspire others to live their life debt free.  He also encourages people to set goals; which, is something that I believe is so important to live a fulfilled life.

A goal in my life- because of watching people like Dave- is to use one of my life's lessons to help the good of others.  I haven't been the best at it lately, but I do always try* to include in my prayers that God help guide me in the direction to serve him.  Some ideas that I have come up with are: starting a dance studio at my church and using my passion for dance and for teaching to serve God through dance, counseling teens who are struggling with peer pressure to drink, have sex, or use language that they are not comfortable with, and also grouping with young wives (even if I am not quite one yet) to come up with meal plans, share in fellowship, and help with the ups and downs that come with being in a lifelong relationship.  These are just a few of the many things that God has put me up against and I know that I have the ability to do something about it to help others who are currently struggling.

I also have other goals in my life.  I think a lot of people do.  I want to be a great wife and mom someday- don't we all!?! Because I am a business major in college, I want to someday own my own small business or work in a position that I am practically the boss.  I want to someday have $1,000,000.  I wrote it out because I think it looks way cooler and bigger than just saying "one million dollars", don't you? I want to someday come up with the cure for cancer, after I win the Powerball.  Fine, the last one was just a pipe dream, but I would totally do it if I won the Powerball.

A friend of mine recently said, "If you say you are 'trying' or any form of 'try', you are going to fail. You have already said you can't and won't if you are only trying."  I thought to myself, "That is not right. I try to do a lot of things and I succeed at them." I tried to get the laundry done before dinner finished and I did. I tried to get straight A's through college and so far I have.  But then I thought about it, I have also tried to study for a test and I didn't have time.  I tried to diet and lose weight and I still haven't.  I have tried a lot of things that I didn't fully commit to and needless to say I failed.  So, did I really even "try"? Or, did I have the choice to do or not to do and I chose not to do it.  I would go with the latter.

When goal setting, we have to decide if we are going to do or we are not going to do.  If it is something that you tell yourself, "I'll try to squeeze this in," then don't even bother writing it down.  You won't do it.  You have to decide if you will do something, or if you won't do it, and then you write it down as a goal.  Have fun checking it off, because if you wrote it down it better be important enough to you that you will make it happen.  Remember, if you "try" you are not doing you are just saying.

And with that, have a great day of DOING!

"Before and After's" of our new home!

First, I want to share a little about our style.  We both love the outdoors and love the feel of cabins.  We wanted our home to have that same feeling, but not quite as much cabin and a little more homey.  So, our colors are very warm and our furniture is all dark browns with bronze as our choice for metal.  And with all that said, here are the pictures! :)

BEFORE (these are pictures from the past owners)

DURING

 

AFTER: (finally!)

 

Meal Planning Necessity!

My efforts to meal plan every week have just become a million times easier! I love lists and I love simplicity in my life and this app I have discovered does it all! Everyone, meet "Food on the Table". I downloaded it for free on my IPhone, but I have visited the website and it is just as great! 

Some of my favorite features are: 

1. Shopping list! (Plus you can add your own items so it's all in one place)

2. Easy to read recipes, that automatically add the items to your shopping list- can you say easy?? 

3. Shop by sales items- no joke, this app uses your location to find grocery stores near you and then will give you the ability to search recipes based on items that are on sale!

All of the recipes below showed up when I clicked on "Recipes by Sales Item". It made it simple for me to make good meals and not have to search around for what was on sale or where. 

Once you have your recipes chosen, you can click on the knife and fork at the bottom and all of your meals will come up. Then, you can set what day you want to make the recipe. Simple right? I LOVE this app! 

Try it today and let me know what you think! :) Have a great day! 

Surviving the ups and downs that make a great relationship!

Let's face it, even Prince Charming and Cinderella had to have argued over something, at some point. Because quite frankly if there isn't ups and downs, there is no relationship at all. This post is all about dealing with the ups and downs and making your love story one for the books. 

Let me share something before I begin...I am not an expert. In fact, I have no clue if this information will help anyone. What I can say is that I have been head- over- heels for a man for the last three years and I finally feel as though I might have "that relationship". You know the one I'm talking about...you're 16 and stalking a friend on Facebook who has fallen madly in love with a guy who cherishes her and they are always posting mushy posts about how happy they are. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic, but I say it because at one point in my life I was that 16 year old girl thinking that I would never find someone who I could have a "flawless" relationship with. Here are a few basic things necessary to begin a relationship. 

1. Maturity- Dave Ramsey once talked about maturity and he described that is the act of learning to delay pleasure. This statement is so very true in a healthy relationship. For one, relationships are not meant to be a game of tug-a-war. No one should feel like they have to be the one to compromise all of the time. Being mature means that as a couple, you can equally (and silently) divide who has to be the one to compromise what they want to do or what they want to buy. 

2. An understanding of who you are- A big reason that my relationship with Kasey has worked so well is that before coming into the relationship we knew where we were headed in life; we knew our religious beliefs, our political choices, and our personal values and morals. In fact, I fought Kasey before starting a relationship because I had promised myself that I was done dating in high school. Of course one thing led to another and I did end up dating him, but it was very different because I had some very important (at least to me) ground rules that I laid out before we started dating. I knew the person that I wanted to be, and for the very first time in my dating career I found someone who supported that instead of challenged it. For instance, I had reached the point where I no longer wanted to drink alcohol- Kasey was a known drinker; smart about how/when/where he drank, but he loved a good party with friends. I had been there, done that, and was so over that phase in life. I told Kasey straight up that I didn't want to drink and he wasn't upset about it at all. In fact, since dating he has turned 21 and is now 22. He has been "drunk" maybe three times and has never once brought alcohol into my home. He respected me enough, plus I think he received a personal conviction from God to no longer drink. Either way, knowing what we wanted and knowing who we were before entering the relationship was/is a big part of our successful relationship. 

There's more that I'm sure you need before starting a relationship, but if you have those two down you are definitely way ahead of the others. Now here are a few brief tips I've learned about sustaining a great relationship:

1. Always trust in God's plan (he's smarter than you)- the other day, Kasey and I got into a pretty good argument. What really started it, I don't really know. But regardless, I told myself that when I got off work I was going to text him and say, "I'll see you tomorrow," and I was going to leave. I knew it would drive him crazy that I didn't come home. I had this plan all mustered up, and then 10 minutes before we closed Kasey shows up and makes me face my problems instead of running. All I could really think, other than "oh crud", was "well played God". I mean, how could Kasey possibly know I was going to run off and not come home?! Obviously he didn't, but God did. Turns out, God was right. It was a lot of tears, a few raised voices, some silence even, but in the end we worked it all out and came home as two happy clams who are (still) crazy in love. 

2. Laugh about everything- I was once told by a lady celebrating her 20 some anniversary that her biggest marriage advice is learning how to have humor in a relationship. If you can't laugh about your problems, you will fight about them. Kasey and I seem to have this one down. As an example, the other day I found myself super frustrated because Kasey kept throwing his dirty clothes all over the house instead of putting them into the dirty clothes hamper. It really wasn't a huge deal, but if I was feeling up to the challenge I'm sure I could have said some pretty rude stuff about how lazy he is and how I do everything. Instead, this is how I handled it...

 

(This one says, "not here") 

(This one says, "they don't go here either") 

I happened to be in the closet when he came into the room and I heard him laughing and then without me having to say one word, he picked up every clothing item and put them in the hamper! Can you say success?? I got what I wanted, and we didn't have to have a fight. Learn how to laugh together, sometimes even at each other (not in a rude way, just in a loving way) because it leads to some great memories and less and less arguments. 

3. Love them- above everything else- all too often I see people who start out loving their spouse more than anything else, and then they start putting other things ahead of the one they love. It doesn't matter if it is a sport, work, or even one of your own children. God teaches us in the bible that we have to love our spouses above everything else, because they are our precious gift. What happens when a mother or a father starts loving their child more than their spouse? Eventually the child grows up, moves out, and gets married and leaves the couple alone with each other and at this point they probably don't love one another like they used to. Remember that your spouse comes first, and that great relationships, just like beautiful gardens, need tending and attention. You can't sit back and hope your garden will grow; just like hoping your relationship will grow.